Hah! I don’t see why she is telling me this, I really don’t care. Why would I ever care? She has such a beautiful face, and a nice body; I indulge in it for a moment, a long moment. Then the moment passes, she continues to complain, and I begin to think. Do you know her face, pretty as it is, is the same monkey face we all have, her breasts, of perfect proportion are merely heifer’s utters, the hips that my arms could hang onto so easily are for bearing little Monkey c***dren, and the Pussy I would lick is for making those terribly expensive and prohibitive bastards. She eats, she shits, she talks, she talks, and she smokes: Disgusting! So fucking disgusting. I need a woman who can keep me from thinking; a real god to occupy my mind. Someone be my god.I’ve just remembered that one can smoke between cars; I tell Ashley and she goes to smoke. I sit for a moment looking at the floor. The top of my head is resting on the seat in front of me. I can see Eric staring at me in the corner of. Lots of factors contribute to success. Still, most of it was boring. I'll be honest, too. A little voice inside was telling me this was a waste of time. I ought to be doing something, anything, rather than waiting.Gradually, the feeling got stronger. It got so I couldn't bear to wait more than a half-hour outside whatever window or other locale I thought would pay off. Beating off got to be a chore, too, even. For one thing, it made my cock sore. For another, there were only so many times in a day I could do it.The alternative, I hated to admit, was worse. It was that I had no idea what to do if I wasn't watching and waiting for some girl to take her clothes off. Pathetic? Ya think? Why, yes. I made a promise to myself that when I told this story I wasn't going to varnish the stupid parts or, I admit it, the pathetic parts, so I won't. It took me a long time to realize that girls were interested in a guy who did things, who had something to offer, something in addition to or--better.
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